Not a spoof of Jack Black
-Weapon: Bastard Sword +1
(And a lute Mofo’s)
-Armor: Scale Mail
-Craft*: ( ) 3
-Disable Device: 2
-Escape Artist*: 5
-Handle Animals*: 3
-Knowledge (Arcana): 7
-Knowledge (Dungeoneering): 7
-Knowledge (Engineering): 7
-Knowledge (Geography): 7
-Knowledge (History): 7
-Knowledge (Local): 7
-Knowledge (Nature): 7
-Knowledge (Nobility): 7
-Knowledge (Planes): 7
-Knowledge (Religion): 7
-Perform (String Instrument): 14
-Perform (Sing): 14
-Profession ( ): 0
-Sense Motive: 11
-Sleight Of Hand*: 2
-Use Magic Device*: 9
-Extra Performace: Use Bardic Performace 6 additional rounds per day
-Armor Proficiency Medium: No penalties on attack rolls while wearing Medium Armor
-Quicken Spell: Casts spell as a swift action
-Arcane Strike: Adds 1 Per Level to your weapon
-Arcane Armor Training: Reduces your arcane spell failure by 10%
I was a young boy in a town called Kickasspoo, There lived my humble family, Religious trough and trough!
But yay there was a Black Sheep and that man was me!
I sang… OH THE MURLOCS BREATH IS BLAZING AS I BLEW HIS HEAD OF WITH MAH LUTE, THEN I TOOK THE LOOT HE HAD (3 Cooper and 1 Fish Oil), AND FUCKED HIS SHINY SCAAAAAAALES!!!
So my father was not pleased, he hit me and abused me with his big oily throbing… lets just go with that he hit me with a leather belt.
I wanted to run, but i dident know how, then the god of rock came and spoke to me.. it was fucking Prince!
He gave me the advise: To find your fame and fortune, D20 you must rooooooll!!! now go. my. son. and be a BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARD!!!!
So i ran as fast as i could, with my lute on my back.
I picked up some advise from a man named Gassy p,diddy (guess why!), he thought me everything i know.
Then a ran away from him becouse he wanted me to get something called the Pick of destiny! But as it turned out, that was trademarked so he got sued.
As i was running i fell into a portal, and now im in a curious world… where my songs are now magical!!
all i got to say is… lookout monsters…. There is a new Bard in town… JAQUÈ NOIR!!!!